Everyone You Know...

So, this previous weekend, I played a concert with a lets say moderatelyfamousforwinningarealitytelevisionshowtoplay
inabandwithTommyLee... person.

Anyways. He has this wife...

People were all like "Yo, His wife is in...PORNOGRAPHY!"
And I was all "Yo! Coincidence! I watch PORNOGRAPHY!"


Probably Has Something To Do With Porn
So, they told me her name and i was like... Weird, I've never ever ever heard of this person before.

Dear reader. Before i get ahead of myself, let me clarify. I'm not some kind of strange and perverty pervert. Delving into my book of science I usually have by me, it says ... "100 percent of men in the world watch pornography alot. If they say they dont, they are obviously lying. Look on their computer in a folder Titled "Taxes" or "Homework" or "Bonerville"."

Anyways, it makes us kinda experts on it. I have trouble remembering the dates that Napoleon Bonaparte kicked some ass, but I could probably name off like... at least 40 pornstars (this is due in part that some have hillariousy rediculous names, while dates in history seldom make good humor).

When they mentioned her name, i drew a blank.
I went around, asked some male friends if they'd ever heard of this woman... they all replied no. I surmised that it must have been because she didn't have an awesome name like 'Cherry Poppins'. Names like 'Cherry Poppins' are blessed by God,(The god of pornography at least) and we cant ALL be that fortunate.


'From This Day Forth, Your Name Shall Be... DICK STIFF!!!'

I waited untill I met her, certain that id shake her hand and suddenly it would dawn on me. Id slap my head to my forehead and shout, "PHHHHHH! NOW I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! You're in the Wookie Orgy in 'Star Whores, Revenge Of The Clits'!!!"

But the fateful day came, and she walked into the room. I held my breath. She didnt 'seem' very porny. She came off more as a... 'cocaine addict' person, rather than a 'take your clothes off and rub your vagina on a camera' type person so me and a group of people began to discuss if any of us had seen her before on the magical place called the 'internets'. Shockingly, none of these people had either.

Suddenly, someone brought their phone out and said "I took the liberty of Googling her her last night, heres a picture of her naked".

Low and behold, there she was.
Naked.
Vagina in air.


There Were Alot Of These In The Picture As Well.
I have to inform you dear reader how strange it is to be in a room with a person looking at them, while also looking at a naked picture of them... doing stuff with another man... whos not their husband.......... while their husband is also in the room...

Mindfuck.

Anyways. The moral of the story is that, ANYONE could be a pornstar. Even a regular looking lady with a husband who was sitting beside me while we played music. Just because you've never SEEN them in a porn, doesn't mean they ARNT in one.

I'm talking about your old neighbor, your teacher, the bus driver, the lunchlady, hell, even a cute second year Nippising student writing a blog trying to win a contest could have been in a porn once, just once, to pay the bills.
You just really never know.

Cole.